The greatest of these is love.

Wednesday, May 15, 2019

How do we feel loved when at times it is so difficult to love ourselves.
Some days I can hold my head high and proud and say confidently that I love myself. Other days I'd rather sit in a corner and not discuss the matter of self love or happiness because I'm just not feeling it. That is the struggle I have within myself.
How much do I actually love myself if somedays it feels impossible to say?
And to that, I'd say I'm believing a lie that the enemy has placed inside of me. Does that make any of it easier though? Not one bit.
I choose to walk along side my Lord no matter what. I am not perfect. I don't have all the answers. What I have is God's love.
It gives me sense of clarity however, that I am good enough and I do love myself, and heck others love me too! But above all else, no matter what mood I'm in, God's love for me never fails.
I've been struggling lately with my past and moving forward. Now for the most part I am very positive, but the heartbreak I've endured, whether with family or relationships, seems like a that piece of hair in your face that you just can't get out. It's not life threatening it is just simply annoying. Then finally you get it and all is good, until the next time it happens and you're struggling once again to get it away. Weird analogy, I know but hear me out. My past gets brought to my attention by the enemy in an attempt to cause me pain, and for a short period of time he succeeds. Although rather than letting the pain continue and continue, I turn to the one who loves me most and personally I just talk to Him.
Talking to God is therapeutic.
It is a sense of serenity to me just being able to unleash every emotion I'm feeling.
God already knows what is happening to us and how we are feeling, but when we let Him in and just talk then He will provide us with the knowledge He believes we need in that moment. Yes we will never get to see the entire plan that He has set for us, and that is okay because I know He is doing something amazing.
God's love for me gets me through the insecurity I hold towards myself. The feeling of being alone or uncared for is wiped away when I realize fully how much God really loves me. He loved me before even knowing me.
Therefore the pain of my past is being used by God to form a more fulfilling future. A future where He is the center of everything and I don't have to wonder if bad things are ahead because the fact is that yeah, bad things and events will come, but what God is going to do with the pain or heartbreak will be something I could have never dreamed of.
Something I have heard lately is that God isn't going to meet our expectations, He is going to exceed them with something so wonderful and more fulfilling than anything we could imagine.
My prayer for those of you reading is that in the dark times of life, you are able to find God's light, even if it is the smallest amount, if you can see any bit of His greatness that you will be led closer and closer until no bit of darkness remains.

1 Corinthians 13:13
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love, But the greatest of these is love.

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