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Tuesday, January 1, 2019

Another year around the sun has been completed and here we are finally in 2019. It's crazy to me how so many people wanted this year to come faster, myself included. I know life is about growth and within that we have to go through rough times, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I was incredibly unhappy with how many of those rough patches I had to endure last year.

I tend to keep a lot of my hardships a secret and although I am not about to speak directly about every individual thing I went through, I want it to be known my life is not perfect and I work very hard to be happy. Last year made me work harder than I ever have and if I'm being truly honest, the real happiness didn't stick until December. Yup, pretty much January 2018 - November 2018 my days consisted of anxiety and depression.
I lost a lot of people last year, some were good because the relationships I had with them were toxic and not healthy for me, some were sad losses because I was confused as to why it had to happen and quickly realized not everyone is as loyal as I think they are, and some were just natural drifting apart scenarios. 

However with these losses, I met some of my favorite people on this Earth or reconnected with people I now see as my forever friends. You know who you are and I love you.

2018 taught me some crazy lessons.
It taught me that I don't deserve to be walked over or treated like dirt on the ground. It gave me a new appreciation for my strength. All through my life people have told me "Oh Rachel you are so strong!" and I hated it. I always wondered why I had to be the strong one. Why did I have to go through all the rough patches and allow people to hurt me over and over again. But now, I get it. I am strong, and that ROCKS! Through all these bad moments in my life, I grew and I became the girl I am now, and heck I love myself. I am finally okay with the fact that I've been through hard times because they really have shaped me into the person I am today, and I know now this was all apart of God's plan for me.
The best thing that came of 2018, was I really realized how much I need God in my life. He placed so many angels in my life lately to help me see his light again. In the past couple weeks I have felt so connected to the Lord. Up until very recently, never in my life have I woken up and read the bible, or in times of hardships reminded myself to pray, but now it is second nature to me and something I look forward to. I'm suddenly freed of anxieties I use to have on the daily because of God. He has shown me the positives in my life, He has placed people I know I am safe to turn to in moments of self doubt, and He has reminded me that I create my own happiness and it is up to me to not get worked up over the little things. God has an amazing plan for me and for you. After going through so many trials in 2018, I can't help but be so sure that 2019 is going to be filled with so many blessings. 
And again this realization didn't happen until December, so if any of you feel like nothing good will ever happen, trust me I've been there, but I promise you the amazing blessings you're going to receive are going to be so amazing, the awful times you had to go through won't matter.

Let me know in the comments what you are looking forward to most in 2019! 

I wish each and everyone of you such an amazing new year. Make every day count.
p.s. Happy second birthday to rachelsfairytale.com but there will be another blog post soon all about that and what is to come😉

I love you all so so much, and thank you to all my friends for being my biggest supporters!

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